As I write this, I’m looking out over the vast blue Pacific Ocean. My wife, Carla, and I decided to splurge for our 46th wedding anniversary. The horizon stretches endlessly, a full moon reflects on the ocean, waves roll in with steady crashing, and I can’t help but reflect on our life together.
You may wonder — what does being married since the Carter administration have to do with commercial real estate?
Bear with me. I believe who you love and with whom you choose to spend your life matters foundationally to building a successful career.
In my case, Carla’s patience, wisdom, and encouragement have been the bedrock under everything I’ve accomplished in brokerage. And along the way, I’ve learned a few lessons that apply equally well to marriage and to commercial real estate.
Commitment outlasts market cycles
Marriage requires commitment – not just when things are easy, but through the tough times too. Real estate is no different.
Since I began in the early 1980s, I’ve watched interest rates soar, the savings and loan crisis unfold, bubbles inflate, and recessions squeeze the market.
Through it all, commitment — whether to a client, a property, or the process — proved more valuable than chasing short-term gains. Just as in marriage, staying the course yields long-term rewards.
Communication is everything
After 46 years, Carla and I still occasionally misunderstand each other. But we’ve learned to keep talking, keep listening, and keep clarifying. The same principle applies in commercial real estate. Deals collapse when communication falters.
Clients don’t expect perfection; they expect honesty. A simple phone call explaining a setback can preserve trust better than any contract clause.
Patience produces fruit
No one celebrates 46 years without patience. There were times when raising kids, building careers, and paying bills felt overwhelming. But patience – trusting that small investments of time and effort compound – got us through.
Commercial real estate rewards patience as well. Transactions can drag on, negotiations can stall, and entitlement processes can feel endless. Yet patience, paired with persistence, is often the difference between a failed deal and a successful close.
Shared values create alignment
Carla and I built our life on shared values: faith, family, and integrity. Those values guided decisions on where to live, how to raise children, and even how to face hardship.
In brokerage, I’ve found that values alignment with clients is equally important. Not every prospect is a fit. When you align with those who share your values – fairness, transparency, long-term thinking – the relationship flows, and the work is more rewarding.
Adaptability is survival
Marriage is a constant process of adaptation. People grow, circumstances shift, and unexpected challenges arise. Carla and I had to adapt when careers changed, when children left home, and when new seasons of life arrived. In real estate, adaptability is equally critical. A strategy that worked in one market cycle may not work in another. Brokers who survive are those who adjust without abandoning their foundation.
Looking out at the Pacific, I’m struck by how steady and timeless it feels. Yet even the ocean is always in motion, waves constantly breaking and reforming. That’s marriage. That’s commercial real estate. Both require a balance of commitment and flexibility, patience and action, values and adaptability.
As I celebrate 46 years with Carla, I’m reminded that no career is built in isolation. The relationships that anchor us at home often provide the resilience and perspective we need in business. Success, in life and in real estate, rests not only on the deals we make but on the people who walk with us through the journey.
Allen C. Buchanan, SIOR, is a principal with Lee & Associates Commercial Real Estate Services in Orange. He can be reached at abuchanan@lee-associates.com or 714.564.7104.
