Well, the holidays are upon us, and I always relish this time of year.
The pace slows, if only a little, and I find myself with more moments to spend with family, reflect on the year that was and imagine the year that is coming.
It is a season that encourages gratitude and perspective, something that can be hard to maintain during the other 11 months when deals stack up, deadlines tighten and our calendars appear to have a life of their own.
Looking back on my career, especially those early decades when I was brokering full time while also husbanding and parenting three amazing kids, I am often asked how I kept any semblance of balance.
Let me be clear. It was not easy. There were sleepless nights, missed cues and more than a few days when I felt stretched too thin. But I made it through, and more importantly, I grew through it.
As you wrap gifts, close year end transactions, or simply catch your breath, I want to offer three lessons that helped me navigate the overlapping worlds of work and family. These are not theories. These are practices that held me together.
Focus on what’s important
In commercial real estate, deals can feel monumental. They demand our attention, our creativity and often our weekends.
But here is the truth I learned, sometimes the hard way: Your family will not remember that deal you made. They will, however, remember your absence from the dance recital, the league championship or the Scout outing.
Those moments do not get replayed. You do not get a second chance at your child’s childhood.
As brokers, we pride ourselves on being present for our clients. Being present at home, truly present, is what builds a life. Deals close and commissions fade. Memories linger.
Spend your working time working
Over the years, I have had the privilege of observing many top producers. They come in all styles and personalities, but they share one trait: They have a laser-like focus during their most productive hours.
When it is time to work, they work. They are not polishing paper clips, reorganizing desk drawers or scrolling their way into distraction. They use their productive hours with intention.
Because of that discipline, they earn the right to unplug without guilt.
That discipline gave me margin. It allowed me to coach, to carpool, and to sit at the dinner table without my phone buzzing like a brain stem. If you want balance, you cannot waste the hours that are meant for production.
Keep perspective. We are brokers
Let me say something that may sound a little bold. We are brokers. We are not performing heart surgery, saving souls or sending astronauts into space.
What we do is important. We help businesses grow, communities evolve and owners invest in their future. But what we do is not a matter of life and death. Once I accepted that truth, an enormous weight lifted.
The pressure I placed on myself did not always match the stakes.
Keeping perspective helped me show up at home as a calmer and steadier version of myself. It allowed me to step away when needed, without the world collapsing or without me imagining that it might.
As this year comes to a close, I hope you find space to pause and consider how you balance the roles you play as a broker, a spouse, a parent, a friend, and sometimes a mentor. Our profession asks much of us. Our lives ask more.
The deals will still be there in January. The people you love are here right now.
Take care of them. Take care of yourself. And enjoy this season of slowing down.
Allen C. Buchanan, SIOR, is a principal with Lee & Associates Commercial Real Estate Services in Orange. He can be reached at abuchanan@lee-associates.com or 714.564.7104.
